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couple of new poems

FictionPress is being shit, so I'm posting my new stuff here instead. "Convictions" is about when Jenny caught me throwing up at Sandy Balls, "Not Me" is to do with something I read about Smash Mouth which inspired me. Neither one is particularly happy.

Convictions
Don't help me
I don't need your help
Don't hurt me
I can hurt myself
Don't follow me
I want to be alone
Don't concern yourself
I'm going to do this on my own

I know we used to be best friends back then
But you've moved on and you've got someone else now
You understand we can't be like that again
So just back off

Don't sugarcoat your way into my heart
I know you want me to stop doing what I do now
You don't understand that this is not your part
So just back off

I don't need all your convictions
Leave me alone with my addictions
I don't need your helpful advice
Being alone would be twice as nice
I know all the implications
It won't change my motivations
I know what my pain is about
I'm convicted already and there's no way out

Not Me
You've seen me thus far
I'm a semi-famous all-out superstar
I'll stand on the stage
And sing my heart out never showing rage
Happy to believe
Got everything I wanted to achieve
Got this perfect life
But nobody can see I'm hiding strife

I'll go to the beach or into space
Anywhere far out is my well-known place
I can be dirty or squeaky clean
I can be nice or I can be mean
I'll smash your mouth with a beaming smile
But no-one understands I'm in denial

Hidden under my coat
The rock ballad I never ever wrote
Hidden inside my mind
The secret song you'll never ever find
Won't come to light
You'll never see
But you're right
This is just not me

The stories you've read
You know that problems have gone through my head
I hurt for a day
But I looked like I got over it straight away
It was intensive
But it put my life into a new perspective
I did what I can
But I never hurt cuz I'm only a man

Why did God have to make me sore
Not someone else who deserves it more
I never did anything wrong
Just sung and played my happy song
All this has just left me whiplashed
It's now my turn to have my mouth smashed

Hidden under my coat
The rock ballad I never ever wrote
Hidden inside my mind
The secret song you'll never ever find
Won't come to light
You'll never see
But you're right
This is just not me

But I'm coping well
I'm not down in hell
I'm looking up to heaven
Sending my love to the skies

Speaking of Smash Mouth, everyone buy their new album - preferably for me, cuz I'm broke post-Poole. :(

Sleeper rock. What could be bad about a band with an album called "Pleased To Meet You" (which, by the way, was released two years before the James album with the same name - James also rock, but can be so unoriginal)? :P

m.a. x

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