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another night of awakeness ....

I really have no life at home. I need to get one. I now spend my days going into chat rooms hoping that there'll be someone there even though everyone seems to leave at my appearance, getting random songs off KaZaA (I think I might become a Tori addict like half my LJ friends, simply because it's something to do!) and talking to Pooka, who has become my life-force. Not like he wasn't before, but even more so now.

And as one might expect, more time with nothing to do = more time to think about stuff = more time to think about weight loss. I hate to think it, but maybe I am still anorexic. I think I am in control of myself, but I'm not. Morty, you were right. I still have problems and still need recovery. And I'm becoming a right Kessa. I can imagine myself meeting Dinah and wanting to sit in a corner and give the occasional monosyllabic answer.

I really, REALLY need to stop reading The Best Little Girl In The World. When I finally work out Steven Levenkron's bloody PDF, I'll order the sequel ("Kessa"), which is apparently much more positive (and much more typo-ridden) than the first.

I don't really have much to say.


- m.a. x

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