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feeling better :)

OK, so I was really, really depressed earlier, and if it weren't for Morty, the dinner table would have been a complete nightmare, what with Jenny being an arse and Bebe (aka. my granny) shouting at me for not eating.


Becke : I'm sorry for upsetting you all. [trust me, I was really sorry]
Bebe : You're not sorry at all!

Becke : It's a lovely meal, but I feel like I physically can't eat right now.
Bebe : Well what are you gonna do? Put it on your head? Stick it up your bum?

GRR! I hate it when people don't understand. Well, whether she did or not, I didn't eat a single morsel of the meal while it was on the table and it's probably been thrown away by now. Ah well, I made it up by eating four pieces of cake. I feel sick now (wonder why?), feel like purging a lot, but I've messed up Christmas enough already. Besides, I've realised that it doesn't matter if I'm fat, because there are people who will love me even if I'm the size of two Hats. Like Robin - I did phone him in the end, and he was pleased to speak to me, and now I feel much better about being with him. He cheered me up no end. I also spoke to Pete beforehand, and he was just drunk out of his head. Merry Pissedmas, Pete! :)

Going to a party at my aunt's house tonight, so I better start getting ready. Think I might phone Pooka first to check everything's OK there. I hope so. Merry Christmas everyone!

- k.s. x

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
tearriddenskies
Dec. 25th, 2003 02:37 pm (UTC)
aaw, I'm sorry people were harsh on you. I know what you're saying about them not understanding... *sigh* Glad you realize that you have people there who love you no matter what you weigh. (((hugs you tightly))) Have an awesome time at your party, sweet Becke. Merry Christmas!!!
bikz
Dec. 25th, 2003 06:05 pm (UTC)
cheers
Thanks for the lovely comment. Merry Christmas! :) *hugz*

k.s. x
keltickefiwolf
Dec. 25th, 2003 03:48 pm (UTC)
Mew.. Try to feel better, girlie..!! ::hugshugs:: While I haven't gone through the exact same thing as you, I have had some emotional problems that it's taken a long time for my family to come to terms with.. I know how difficult that can be. Often feeling like a dissapointment, or like you're being ungrateful in feeling the way you do.. Or asking yourself, "Am I doing this for attention? Why am I so needy? Am I really worth all the trouble I've caused them?" But I really feel my family has begun to accept these things about me.. And with with that, the guiltiness finally has a chance to fade- and I have a chance to face my problems, unhindered by it. I hope that your family will soon grant you the same understanding.. Or at least stop yelling at you like that, because I know.. And they should know.. that it isn't something you try to do just to spite them.

::hugs again:: I sure hope the rest of the holiday goes better for you..!!

And hey, I didn't realize before that you were a James fan! Go you!! Unfortunately, they never really hit it off here in the US (save the single, "Laid," which is good but isn't truly indicitive of what they are..) No surprise, considering the kind of crap that makes it onto the radio here.. GRRR!! I love Whiplash, especially "Blue Pastures." Lol- sorta the song I like to torture myself with when I'm feeling down..
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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