bikz (bikz) wrote,

  • Mood:

this is getting worse ....

My mind is thinking silly things. Shut up mind.

Silly things go like this - "What if he's not in Edinburgh, but with Lucy?"

Well, for starters, the job offer just seems unbelievable. Building work in Scotland when he lives in Birmingham, accommodation all paid for, £950 a day. Now, I may not know much about wages or jobs in general, but surely if an employer's paying out all that and paying for accommodation, and I'd imagine Tim's not the only person applying for the job if the wages are that good, surely they're going to be losing money. OK, so Tim might have got his words mixed up, as he often does, but I don't know of many words that sound like Edinburgh. I can't think of one good explanation why Tim would be looking for work up there in the first place. It makes no sense.

And then we come to Lucy. She's already kissed him right in front of me, and he was not pushing her away. He's lied to me about her - remember the time when he told me over the phone that he hated her and would never see her again, and yet I could hear her voice in the background? I don't know if you do, but I certainly do. He's also told me about Lucy's new boyfriend Harry, while she claims that she's going out with a William. For God's sake, if he's going to sleep around, he could at least try not to make it so bleedin' obvious.

Dammit, why can't I be going out with someone who has no other chance of getting a girlfriend? Why is Tim such a popular guy? Can't he just be fat and ugly but kinda cute in a way only I see, and a good kisser while we're changing him? And as for Lucy - why can't she just fuck off and stay with whichever prince she's going out with? Either that or get hit by a bus.

I'm waffling away now. Must shut up. And stop worrying - there's probably nothing wrong at all and I'm jumping to conclusions. Stay calm, Becke. Calm. Calm. Calm ....

.... or, more likely, fucking PANIC.

- k.s. x


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