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back to college ....

.... and had some of the best conversations ever.

Hattie : I'm glad Alex isn't here.
Lee : If you don't like him, then why do you never shut up about him?
Becki : You love him really.
Hattie : NO I DON'T! Why would I love someone who threatens to kill me and eat me?
Becki : You'd like Alex to eat you, wouldn't you?
*laughs, Hattie screams*
Lee : Hmm, this one'll last a while.
Becki : It'll go on as long as Tim's penis - no wait, that's not very long.
Hattie : I think it's best you don't talk about Tim's penis, Emma might get lovesick.
Lee (for no apparent reason) : Alex's penis.
Hattie : It'll come all over the table!

Hattie : I don't have a pussy, and if I did my dog would eat it in five seconds!

Chris : I'm gonna start a ballet class! Plié, girls, plié! Now take off those leotards, this is called the naked dance.
Chris : Emma, would you like to join my class?
Emma : No thanks.
Chris : How about you, Becki?
Becki : Will you be doing the naked dance?
Chris : No.
Becki : I'll have to pass then.
Chris : Lee, would you like to join?
Lee : Oooooooooh yesssssss.

*Becki is wearing big fluffy coat, hat and gloves in class*
Nicola-care-staff : Why are you wearing that? It's not cold!
Becki : Yes it is.
*Deryck enters room, Becki takes clothes off (GUTTA!!)*
Becki : Now it's hot in here. ;)

Dom : Becki, I hate to say this, but I really like your hat. I wish I had one like that.

Becki : Alex is wonky, isn't he Hattie?
Hattie : Yes, he's very wonky! Especially his penis!
Becki : You would know, wouldn't you?
Hattie : Everyone's seen Alex's penis.
Alun : Everyone's seen it, Hattie's felt it.
Hattie : NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm not going out with Alex!
Chris : Yes you are.

*Alex walking in and out of the door*
Hattie : Alex, stop going in and out like a flowerpot man!

*Becki kicks Alex in the bollocks*
Alex : If you kick me again, I'll throw you on Chris and Lee, and I swear you'll get more pleasure out of Chris than you'll ever get out of Pooka.

If only he knew .... :P

I've been doing a lot of kicking Alex in the bollocks (and all the rest of his scrawny little body) recently. Paul, Chris (I almost wrote Christ then - what the!?), Peter Tobin and I beat him to a pulp last night. And I did most of it, way. :)

Mmm, Tim just gave me four chips.

Speaking of which, I am SO jealous of Chris. People are meant to gain weight over Christmas, not lose it! He is so thin it's untrue. As far as I know, his eating is unhealthy (as in junk food, not ana) and he doesn't exercise - all the makings of your textbook lazy fat bastard, and yet he looks like a cross between Calista Flockhart and a matchstick. This is NOT fair.

I'm 8st5lbs. :'(

Hmm, what else? Oh yes, my children. Pika's got a girlfriend. Her name's Kristin Moo and she's the daughter of two French cows. They don't match, but they make a good couple I think. Problem is, Fieldy's a bit depressed because he's the older one and he has no-one.

I love Pooka. Meh.

- b.k. x


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 6th, 2003 06:27 am (UTC)
8st 5lbs being about the average for your height and the weight you should actually be.
Jan. 6th, 2003 12:27 pm (UTC)
- You look nice enough as it is and don't need to lose any weight even with the statement by Morti or without...

- Hattie IS going out with Alex, I wonder why she denies it so. ;)
(believe me, I know what people from Oakwood are like...)

- I must point out that Pika is the only one in my gene pool who enjoys both homosexual and heterosexual encounters (right, Fieldy?), so maybe somebody'd better point that one out for his cow. Just a thought... meh.

- Erm... miss you too.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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