bikz (bikz) wrote,

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back to college ....

.... and had some of the best conversations ever.

Hattie : I'm glad Alex isn't here.
Lee : If you don't like him, then why do you never shut up about him?
Becki : You love him really.
Hattie : NO I DON'T! Why would I love someone who threatens to kill me and eat me?
Becki : You'd like Alex to eat you, wouldn't you?
*laughs, Hattie screams*
Lee : Hmm, this one'll last a while.
Becki : It'll go on as long as Tim's penis - no wait, that's not very long.
Hattie : I think it's best you don't talk about Tim's penis, Emma might get lovesick.
Lee (for no apparent reason) : Alex's penis.
Hattie : It'll come all over the table!

Hattie : I don't have a pussy, and if I did my dog would eat it in five seconds!

Chris : I'm gonna start a ballet class! Plié, girls, plié! Now take off those leotards, this is called the naked dance.
Chris : Emma, would you like to join my class?
Emma : No thanks.
Chris : How about you, Becki?
Becki : Will you be doing the naked dance?
Chris : No.
Becki : I'll have to pass then.
Chris : Lee, would you like to join?
Lee : Oooooooooh yesssssss.

*Becki is wearing big fluffy coat, hat and gloves in class*
Nicola-care-staff : Why are you wearing that? It's not cold!
Becki : Yes it is.
*Deryck enters room, Becki takes clothes off (GUTTA!!)*
Becki : Now it's hot in here. ;)

Dom : Becki, I hate to say this, but I really like your hat. I wish I had one like that.

Becki : Alex is wonky, isn't he Hattie?
Hattie : Yes, he's very wonky! Especially his penis!
Becki : You would know, wouldn't you?
Hattie : Everyone's seen Alex's penis.
Alun : Everyone's seen it, Hattie's felt it.
Hattie : NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm not going out with Alex!
Chris : Yes you are.

*Alex walking in and out of the door*
Hattie : Alex, stop going in and out like a flowerpot man!

*Becki kicks Alex in the bollocks*
Alex : If you kick me again, I'll throw you on Chris and Lee, and I swear you'll get more pleasure out of Chris than you'll ever get out of Pooka.

If only he knew .... :P

I've been doing a lot of kicking Alex in the bollocks (and all the rest of his scrawny little body) recently. Paul, Chris (I almost wrote Christ then - what the!?), Peter Tobin and I beat him to a pulp last night. And I did most of it, way. :)

Mmm, Tim just gave me four chips.

Speaking of which, I am SO jealous of Chris. People are meant to gain weight over Christmas, not lose it! He is so thin it's untrue. As far as I know, his eating is unhealthy (as in junk food, not ana) and he doesn't exercise - all the makings of your textbook lazy fat bastard, and yet he looks like a cross between Calista Flockhart and a matchstick. This is NOT fair.

I'm 8st5lbs. :'(

Hmm, what else? Oh yes, my children. Pika's got a girlfriend. Her name's Kristin Moo and she's the daughter of two French cows. They don't match, but they make a good couple I think. Problem is, Fieldy's a bit depressed because he's the older one and he has no-one.

I love Pooka. Meh.

- b.k. x


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