Luckily, not as scary as I thought (kittens can't be all that scary). But still quite bad.
I was pink-kitten and I was walking down the road with blue-kitten (can't be arsed to explain - what a surprise). I saw a small brown mouse and chased it off down the road. Blue-kitten tried to follow me, but he gave up and ran away. When I got to the end of the road, green-kitten had somehow caught the mouse and it was in his mouth. He was sitting on a vacuum cleaner for some reason, then he jumped down, gave the mouse to me and then kissed me. I didn't want to kiss green-kitten, I tried to pull away, but he had a tight hold on me. Then he cut my chin open with his claw and it was bleeding badly. I ran away from him.
When I found blue-kitten again, I told him that green-kitten had kissed me but I didn't care because I loved blue-kitten. But blue-kitten had orange-kitten on his paw, and they just meowed to each other lovingly. I tried to go back to green-kitten cuz at least he loved me, but when I got back, there was nothing but a vacuum cleaner and a dead mouse with a note saying "FUCK OFF" between its pause. Then yellow-kitten appeared out of nowhere, meowed something that sounded like "Do you wanna piece of me?", and I didn't, so I scratched his face really, really hard. When his face was bleeding, my chin suddenly stopped. I then walked into the vacuum cleaner and became myself again, at Jenn and Stu's wedding.
They were at the Plaza Hotel in New York and it was done up like the dining room in Beauty And The Beast. Dan was there, dressed up as a candlestick, and he said "This is your costume" and handed me a teapot costume. I said, "Great, it would accentuate my fat" but by that time he'd gone. I went up to the head of the table to see Jenn and Stu, but I couldn't see them because Jenn had her thick veil down and Stu had a big bandage over his face. They sat really still and didn't get up, not even for the wedding march, but Father Ted and Rachel came up to them to marry them. They started the vows with "Claire, do you take Pooka to be your lawfully wedded husband?" and I ran up to Rachel, shook her and said "Where are Jenn and Stu?", and she said, "We're Jenn and Stu" and snogged Father Ted (WTF?). Then I hid under the table.
I was suddenly back in my room, making banners for the Busted concert saying "CHARLIE I KNOW YOUR UNCLE MARK", "JAMES HOW MUCH DOES YOUR FACE WEIGH?" and "MATT IT WASN'T MUCH TO DO WITH LSD". Weird.
So it was a v. nasty nightmare. Must make those banners though, especially the Charlie one being as I do know his uncle Mark. And I suppose Matt's on drugs and James's face weighs a lot ....
- b.k. x