You still wear your engagement ring even though you broke up eight months ago.
You cried when you found out that his mobile didn't work.
When his phone did work, you constantly phoned and texted, although it cost loads.
When he next gets a girlfriend, you'll think about hiring an assassin.
You cut your hair off and took out your favourite piercing because of him.
You think about following him to Japan even though you hate the place.
You look at pictures of him every day because they turn you on.
If you weren't so stressed, you'd give up smoking because he doesn't like it.
You listen to his music every day even though you can barely hear him sing on the CD.
You buy him presents for no reason except that you think he'd like them.
You think he's sexier than Justin Hawkins (that's saying something if you're me).
You'd rather give up cups of tea than never see him again (that's saying even more!).
You have sexy dreams and/or terrible nightmares about him every night.
You cut his name into your leg because he doesn't love you.
The one thing you hate about your friend Sam is that he called your ex a wet flannel.
You've been told you need anti-depressants because of your obsession.
If he said he was gay, you'd commit suicide.
You are completely and utterly deranged.
- b.k. x