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So here I am, online, again, cup of tea in my hand. Five LJ posts a day, 20 cups of tea a day, 30 fags a day and 50 posts on TDR a day keep me from going out (that and the fact that most of the time I can not be arsed to get dressed). On TDR I get my crushes, whether they be on famous people or on the one that everyone seems to be milking like a fat cow. When I go down for my fag and tea, I suddenly feel guilty for my crushes and fall in love with Pooka again, so I need to stop my guilt with some other obsession. How about I shop online, or, on the rare occasion that I can be arsed, go out to the shops? Ooh dear, running out of money, I'll just have to eat my way out of trouble again. But then I weigh myself and feel guilty about eating, so I have to NOT eat my way out of trouble. Distract myself by going online, having a fag, having a cup of tea, reading a book obsessively, listening to music obsessively or just wandering around the house. But then I start with the crushes and/or love again, and I'm stuck back where I was.

The wheels on the Bikki go round and round, round and round, round and round ....

- b.k. x

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January 2011
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