January 17th, 2004

The Party Scene

crappy parodies

Four seasons in one day
Dreaming of the things I want to happen to me
Higher than the highest kite
Flying above the black clouds hanging over the domain

Even when the weather's calm
His frostbite blows upon my face
Like four winds in one place

Smiling as the sun shines down
Walking down to see my man another day
Everything gets turned around
When I know I've risked my love again, again

I've given up everything
Caught all these habits from him
All the things you can't explain
Like four minds in one brain

Blood like rain
Flows far, flows far
I love the pain
Of four cuts in one scar

Doesn't pay to get reputations
Sleeping on a big mistake
Finding out that afterwards I'm feeling so ashamed
Only one rebound lay
But four fuck-ups in one day

Smoke disappeared
In rain, in rain
I feel so weird
After four seasons in one day

- Becke's parody of Crowded House "Four Seasons In One Day"

Meh. That sucked.

- k.s. x

PS. I'm now reading my new book I got, "The Luckiest Girl In The World" by Steven Levenkron. I'm surprised I'm not triggered to cut by it, at least not so far, because he's very good at making me want to starve myself when I read about Kessa. Probably for the best really. It's not as bad as people say it is, but I wouldn't recommend it to hardcore self-harmers - it might be triggering if you're a regular cutter.
  • Current Music
    Crowded House - Four Seasons In One Day
The Party Scene

can't sleep ....

.... as usual. Maybe I haven't smoked enough (cut down a lot today, mainly cuz I'm running out), or I'm uncomfortable in bed, or just plain uncomfortable here. It doesn't feel right being home after two weeks at college. I thought it would be good to get home, but now I just wanna be back there. If it was a normal weeknight, I'd be fast asleep now, having sat up with the night staff and had a cup of tea off them, and talked and smoked with Spike (possibly the coolest staff member ever). I certainly wouldn't be online wasting time and feeling like shit. Maybe it's best for me to be with Lindsey - at least I know I can't stay up in the room.

Dad's birthday tomorrow .... well, today. I've got my mum to get him a present in my name cuz I'm flat broke (post Bristoliem - grr, no fag money!). I need to spend less on shopping. And less on fags, for that matter. It's about time I started saying "10 Mayfair please" (Robin's brand *sob*), at least they cost less than £2 and it won't set me back too much. Meh. Shut up Becke, smoking is a Robin thing, forget about him - no, I can't. :(

Ugh, feel crappy. Might read a bit more of Katie, then smoke, then sleep. Or try to.

- k.s. x

  • Current Mood
    crappy crappy