Apart from that, it was my mum's birthday yesterday, so we went out for a meal. Went to the Harvester. I felt weird going there again. Last time I went was for my nan's birthday two years ago, and I purged in the bogs. Of course, I didn't yesterday, but you know what I mean - the place reminds me of times when I had a real problem and I couldn't bring myself to admit it. I was also two stone (28lbs) lighter then, which makes me feel so fat now. I was going on about being fat then, but what about now when I'm heavier? If I was big then, I must be massive.
Thing is, was I big then? The scales said no but the mirror said yes .... what do I believe? Ah well, too late to worry about that, I can't look in the mirror now and see me then, because Becke who weighs as little as she did then no longer exists. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Pth, beyond me.
- b.k. x