Do you wanna piece of me?

This is brill - Darkness fans are so intelligent and so problematic it's untrue.

- b.k. x

I hate banks. Banks' parents aren't married. Banks' mums are whores. I will sodomise banks with my sodding lighter if they don't sodding sort themselves out. Yes, I know this isn't politically correct, but meh to it all.

Anyway, as many of you may know, my bank card fell apart at Leeds, and being as it was Leeds and this is what we do at Leeds, I threw it into a fire. So I called up today to ask for a new card (they sent me a letter over a month ago saying that they'd send me one in three weeks). I gave them my name, my birthday (five days), then I read my sort code and account number right off my bank statement, just right. Next I was asked for a recent transaction, so I read one of those off my bank statement as well. After holding for, like, forever, they told me that I'd said something wrong and that my security had been locked, so I now have to wait a week for a security pack. Me said something wrong? I think it was more likely that the woman on the phone said something wrong, because her voice is so stupid that I don't understand it.

I realise now what I might have done wrong though - maybe she asked for my MOST recent transaction, which is too recent to be on my bank statement. "PayPal, Ben Morrish, £28.50". Why didn't I just say that? Ah well, it wasn't my fault that woman had a stupid voice and I couldn't understand a word she said. So I'll carry on blaming the bank or her or my statement or something rather than blaming myself. Lalalalala ....

.... I don't blame myself at all, not my problem, not my fault ....

.... ah fuck it, it's all my fault, I didn't listen right.

- b.k. x

I'm not sure whether Bebe just said she wanted herself dead, my dad dead or me dead.

Either way, it was quite disturbing .... :\

- b.k. x

Here's some happy pictures! :)







I know. I don't know why either.

- b.k. x

Here's some reasons to be happy.

1. It's my birthday in four and a bit days.

2. I'm gonna see The Darkness AND Busted in December.

3. Ben has just signed in. (even MSN wants me to be happy!)

4. I got a 100-pack of fags and there's 99 left.

5. My knickers are falling down. (means I've lost weight, yay!)

6. I'm going to be a New Zealander. *big happy kiwiness*

7. I just had some nice vodka and there's more in the fridge.

8. My bank account's going to be reactivated in a week.

9. I've taken my derangement ring off cuz I'm good like that.

10. I'VE GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF TOY COWS!!!

- b.k. x

PS. Someone explain to me why it took SO BLOODY LONG to type my current music.

An hour later, and I've found reasons NOT to be happy.

1. Yes, and it's going to be as boring as most of my other birthdays.

2. Will I really get to all the Darkness gigs I want to go to?

3. It makes me feel pathetic that I'm so afraid to talk to him.

4. I love coughing my guts up every time I take a drag.

5. What's so great about my knickers falling down?

6. That's not going to be happening for a few years yet.

7. I'm not drunk and I doubt that I'll get drunk.

8. I have to wait a whole fucking week, probably more than that.

9. It won't be long before I decide to put it back on again.

10. Why should a bunch of toy cows make me happy!?

- b.k. x

PS. It took me ages to type my music cuz I kept missing the keys like the retard I am.