October 12th, 2004

The Party Scene

have you ever noticed ....

.... that I'm online too much? :P Yeh, well, that too, but here's what I mean to say.

Everyone is an attention-seeker. No, I won't accept, "No, I'm not", WE ALL ARE. We want to seek attention by having the best of everything. "She's got the most gorgeous dress, so I must have a better one". "He's got the coolest car, so I must have a better one". We're all like that. Admit it.

If you can't be the best dressed at the party, you've got to be the thinnest. If you can't be the thinnest you've got to be the funniest. If you can't be the funniest you've got to be the drunkest. And if you are not invited to the party at all, then you've got to pretend that you're the coolest for not going to some crappy party, had a much better time at home and I didn't miss that brill TV programme and you did, ha ha. Ring any bells? I'm sure you must have felt like this at some point.

Ever heard the phrase, "You don't know what you've got till it's gone"? That's another part of our seeking attention. "Must get this boyfriend, got him, don't want him any more, dammit, I want him back". Same goes for jobs, friends, etc. - everything. When we haven't got it, we want it. When we've got it, we don't care and often don't notice whether it is there or not, sometimes we wish it would go away. When it's gone, we want it back. Same even goes for families. We fall out with them and privately wish they were dead, but if they actually died, wouldn't we do anything to have them back?

Body is the worst one of all, especially for females. It starts when you're young - the early developers hate how they're growing up so fast, don't want their breasts, their hips, their periods. They wish they were the late developers, who meanwhile would kill for those breasts and hips and periods. When you get a bit older and pretty much everyone's developed, everyone wishes they weren't. Strange thing, isn't it? We as people are crap at accepting ourselves. Not everything can be right, something's always wrong.

OK, so my clothes are from Asda and Primark with the occasional bit of Morgan thrown in. OK, so I haven't got a car and I never will have one. OK, so I haven't got a job, or a boyfriend for that matter. OK, so I have a bastardly skin condition, hair cut by myself with devil horns sticking out the side and a long list of disorders. OK, so I have overlarge tits and this cute little roll of fat over my knickers, with another one fast growing over it. Who cares? That's me, I'm me, and I damn well swallow. ;)

Just remember, when someone says, "Does my bum look big in this?", the answer has either got to be, "No, but it should" or, "Yes, and it's BEAUTIFUL!". Also remember - Good Girls Do Swallow. Yet another post of mine inspired by the brill Rachael, I know, but meh, I wrote this myself didn't I?

Swallow, people, SWALLOW!

Wow, I spent an hour writing that with no fag breaks - no wonder it's so disjointed. :P

- b.k. x

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A singing Kao

wow! :D

I got two votes for Queen of The Darkness! TWO FUCKING VOTES! That may not sound like much, but it's amazing for a new girl, a mere Jedi Knight who has been there less than a month, when there are people who have been there since March with no votes at all! Thankyou anya4dan and Katie! :)

*here was a large lament about Morrish which has been removed for public decency*

- b.k. x

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