Pooka - gone, took my life with him, and there's no chance of me getting it back because he's made it into a pile of bricks. Ben - wasn't even there in the first place, obviously prefers everyone else to me because he actually notices the existence of everyone else. Dan - haven't seen him for months. Bungle - eh!?
Rookery House - still don't like it there, but am still going there anyway. Farleigh - still kinda miss it, but it also kinda feels like it was a waste of time and I made better Walsall College material. Either way I know that's something I can't have back. New Zealand - sounds good, found out I'll be at the same uni as Jess and probably at the same time too, but will I be able to cope with it? Doubt it. I can't cope with Somerset, for fuck's sake.
"Look forward" - great resolution. But there's nothing to look forward TO.
*bombs Pooka's house, bricks go flying everywhere and I take them all*
*notices mean comments about me on each one*
*throws them around randomly* FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU.
I would feel a lot better now if that was real.
Thing is, the only time I heard him really happy is when he broke up with me. Don't you get it? I wanted a fucking BREAK, not a fucking BREAK-UP. I said that then, but you're meant to know me, for fuck's sake. You don't know me at all. What I was after was a while off, not a whole new fucking life as some demented ex which I would rather die than be.