bikz (bikz) wrote,

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bad times

Well, first there's me leaving Farleigh - self-explanatory, really. Then all the crap with Pooka, not wanting anything to do with me and having a much better life than me (making me jealous, I'm dim like that). Then we have Rookery House practically rejecting me cuz my social worker went and buggerated all my funding. Next up, I may as well have lost Shaun and all them, they're carrying on with their lives OK with me out of the way. Most of the Darklings have fallen out with me, the older ones in particular, apparently even Morrish, who seemed to be getting on with me just fine and it took bloody AGES for me to pluck up the courage to talk to him, wants nothing to do with me. Of course, didn't hear that firsthand, but still, I'm gonna believe it in this state aren't I? Not to mention that Bebe's falling out with me too, Chris is being a fuckwit and of course I'm worried about Malefact. Might call him tonight - I hope he answers.

Biscuit died a long time ago. The only friend I ever really had - gone. :'(

I feel like death. But being as I'm here to please people (I have noticed that when my true depressive or angry feelings come out, that's when people start to leg it), nothing more, death is selfish and I must be as unselfish as I possibly can. This is me. Deal with it.

- b.k. x


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