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calmer ....

OK, I've calmed down a bit now. Still not feeling great, but I'm not pissed off with Tori or Paula or anyone else now (apart from Lausie, but that's just cuz I'm a jealous fuckwit, and Lucy and Robin cuz I just don't like them). It was silly being pissed off with them - Tori hasn't really done anything wrong, I doubt that she knew what the conversation was for (turning Ben on is an easy mistake to make cuz it's so damn easy!), and Paula doesn't like me but she's a cool person and she hasn't done anything wrong either. Pooka - well, no point in being annoyed with him, and I don't see the point in him being annoyed with me.

Talked to Yasmin (polly_loves_dan) and Lisa last night, after that conversation was over and done with. Yasmin was very nice to me, she's lovely to talk to. :) As for Lisa - she said she's going to sort something out for me. I don't know what she's going to do, but apparently "she has her ways" and that is always good. I can trust she'll come up with some sort of brill idea, unless she already has. ;)

Nothing else to say really except that this fudge tastes like crap. :P

- b.k. x


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 28th, 2004 07:50 am (UTC)
What's the point in being jealous of Lausie? She happens to have a girlfriend. Do you want a girlfriend? What's wrong with being happy for someone rather than jealous, hmmm?
Oct. 28th, 2004 08:14 am (UTC)
you know.
Because I'm crap at being happy for people. I try to change that, but jealousy will always prevail in the sadly pathetic mind of Bikki.

I'm jealous because she's got everything I haven't got. OK, maybe I don't want to go out with a girl, but she has someone and I don't. All I got is someone who likes me and I'm not even sure of that. Not to mention her easy life, riches, prettiness and the way that if she even goes near a guy his tongue'll be lolling out, if I dare to flirt with anyone I get either ignored or bitched at.

Yes. I admit it. I'm easily jealous of anyone who's got anything better than me. It's a horrible thing to be, one of my many terrible flaws which I'm stuck with. OK?

b.k. x
Oct. 28th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC)
Re: you know.
Lausie's a nice person who you happen not to get on with. No one says that you have to be happy for her. And sometimes jealousy comes too easily to all of us, and this can lead to guilt.

But I don't see the need to be vocal about your jealousy, when it is more tactful to keep it out of the public gaze. Lausie's put nothing in her LJ aimed personally at you; but that's now not true in reverse.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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