bikz (bikz) wrote,

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sex, lies and Butlins 2003

This is a quick update to say that I'm still here. I know I haven't updated in a long time, and I haven't done a proper update on Butlins, so ....

FRIDAY - highlights.

The car journey - Alex was asleep, Tim was singing "Pretty Woman". :P

The minibus journey (which I wasn't on) - Peter S making up songs about Andrew H-B to piss him off (he doesn't like music). :P

Our flat - it was good.

Make-up - mine, Emma E's, Lisa's, Kelly's, Joel's .... :P

Naked Tobin (not that he's sexy in the slightest, just so we could laugh at him)

Dodgy pictures, eg. Emma CS out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel, me draped over a Harry Ramsden's counter looking pissed outta my head (which I was), etc.

Blue & gold hair - Tim used most of the blue, Alex used most of the gold (his hair was OK, actually, by Groinlion standards), Ben should never be a hairdresser (don't give up the day-job, mate) and Tobin did my hair quite well (he'd make a great gay hairdresser).

Hattie singing at the pub (the good thing is that I missed it!).

Hattie pulling at the pub (my God).

Joe Thursday : "Smoking is a disgusting habit, I'd never do such a thing."
Joe Friday (on his third fag) : "Got any more, Sam?"

Me getting drunk - fun and hilarious. :P

Emma CS tucking me in back at the flat (I don't know why, but it kinda made me feel - well, loved in a way).

Phoning Pooka during drunkenness.

FRIDAY - lowlights.

Hattie and Tobin fighting the moment we got there.

Emma E getting the big room in our flat - why did I insist on having the little one!?

Phoning SEDA - they may know what they're on about, but it was just a big advert for their drop-ins (which I tried to go to that very morning, but it was cancelled!), and a waste of valuable Pooka credit.

Naked Tobin *shudders*

Missing most of the pub through walking with Alex, who 1. tried to kiss me (SLAP!) and 2. refused me to take me back to the pub (SLAP!).

However hard I tried throughout the day to keep my food down (it was a holiday), by the night I was dying to be sick. :(

Getting drunk & the picture - I'll be ridiculed forever.

SATURDAY - highlights.

Eating very little for breakfast - nice one. :)

Dodgy pictures, eg. me strangling Alex, Emma E strangling Alex, Hattie kissing Alex (!).

Speaking of which - Hattie kissing Alex (three-timer so far).

Hattie getting flirted with by a bloke at the cuddly toy counter (four-timer!).

CUDDLY TOYS!!!1 (I won two, but Lisa and Alun won God-knows-how-many)

The Pirate Ship like the one at Drayton Manor (even though Hattie was almost sick in Kelly's face, I loved it!).

My small lunch which I was oh so tempted to purge, but didn't :)

Sitting on Hattie's bed with Hattie, Emma CS and Tania - Hattie said the following ....
- *Hattie spills tea all over me*
Hattie : "I'm dyspraxic, don't you know?" [best phrase of Butlins 2003]
- Tania : "I have a king-size bed at home."
Hattie : "You NEED a king-size bed!"
Tania : "You calling me fat?"
Becki : *coughlookwho'stalkingcough*
- Hattie : "I'm going to name my son Tom Clayson."
- Emma CS : "What shall we do next?"
Hattie : "It's up to you, Emma dah-ling."

Swimming in the best pool, like, ever.

Small dinner too - I was so in control.

Me singing "Sit Down" at the pub (and getting many compliments) :)

Tobin pulling some fat married woman. :P

Ben singing "Rock DJ" at the pub - not cuz he was good, but cuz he was so brave going up there with a throat infection. Nice one.

Ben & Tim doing "I Believe I Can Fly" - same, but Tim was really cool as well.

Joe running around with Sam on his back and his trousers down - I wasn't there (thank God in fact, I didn't want to see it!), but it was apparently hilarious.

Tim & Emma "getting back together" (ie. having sex with Mr. Groinlion listening at the door).

Tim talking me out of cutting.

Emma & Tania cheering me up.

Pyjama party with Kelly & Lisa - especially when Sam just turned up out of nowhere (he has a talent for doing that), Lisa burping (she has a REAL talent for doing that!) and Kelly getting calls from about four different men at the same time (I wouldn't call it a talent - her talent was trying to teach Sam a Somerset accent, in which he failed miserably and sounded more Cockney than ever).

SATURDAY - the lowlights.

ONLY JUST missing winning a big white teddy bear the size of Adam Battersby (it could probably run a better RPG too). :P

Having to leave the swimming pool early cuz Hattie had a stomachache (that and having to see her naked in the changing rooms - *shudders*).

Not being allowed to drink - they ordered the drinks while I was in the bog. GRR!

Hattie singing "Everytime You Need Me" at the pub. She was so crap it was untrue.

Not being allowed to stay at the pub for the whole night like they did last time when I only turned up at the end. Because Hattie - yes, HATTIE - was tired, I had to go back too, while the third-years got to stay up till 3am.

I sang "Lean On Me" at the pub, but it went SO wrong. I put Emma CS on the list to sing with me and she'd buggered off somewhere so I got Tim, Ben and Tobin as backing singers instead, they gave me the 2.4 Family version even though I'd clearly asked for the Bill Withers version so it had all the wrong words in it (meaning that I had to remember the real ones and my backing singers didn't even know the words).

Naked Tobin (OK, it was funny the first time, but it's the last thing you want to see when you're depressed).

Me getting seriously depressed and feeling like cutting/bingeing/purging.

Me getting seriously depressed and bingeing/purging.

Me getting seriously depressed and Tim cutting because of me. :'(

Me getting seriously depressed - in general (it covers four points cuz it was so bad).


Sunday doesn't count cuz we did fuckall. Apart from pack, go back to college and finally get a picture of The Naked One (luckily, he was covered by a blanket where required). I will never, ever look at him in the same way again (ditto with Joe if I see his moonie picture, and Sam for being an honorary girl). I'm also rather put off going to Delta, even to see Tim. Bleh.

Anyway, altogether, Butlins got 64%. It's nothing compared to Easter with Pooka (which would be somewhere between 85-95% if I'd counted), but it was pretty good, actually. :)

So that was my Butlins. In love, in fear, in hate, in tears - everything.

"Mum found me on the floor, blood stains on my Christian Dior,
Now I'm in the hospital, thay feed me from a bag on the wall,
Me and my friends do it all together, circle purge will make it better,
Ruptured my oesophagus, but I'm still a hippopotamus,
Just cant seem to figure it out, why my teeth keep falling out ...."

Ugh, gross, gross, gross. *removes song from playlist*

m.a. x

PS. No fudge there apart from Bristow's shit.

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