bikz (bikz) wrote,
bikz
bikz
  • Mood: dim
  • Music: Catatonia - Bulimic Beats

smoking, sex and Man City, etc.

I smell like fags, and not of the Chris Pardoe variety - hope my mum doesn't notice (or go looking through my bag and find the 9 remaining Mayfairs and cheap 50p lighter I just bought). Why oh why did I have to go out for cigarettes with Robin so many times? Why did I breathe the smoke? Why did I kiss him? Either way, I know I'm addicted now, and there's fuck all I can do about it. Oh well, at least it'll keep my weight down. And I do actually like smoking, even though it's bad for me.

Also pissed off, for the first time ever, that we don't have digital TV. I'm gonna miss the Man Utd v Man City match, miss my team thrashing Robin's team - ha, I wish. After Newcrapple thrashed us because I wasn't watching (or maybe it's because Man City are crap, but we're not as crap as them - right?), we've got to win it.

God, Becke used to hate smoking and football. And Robin, for that matter. I wouldn't be surprised if Pooka hates my guts now. He likes "Becki", the girl who liked Harry Potter and Pokémon, the girl who was unhappy with her appearance but happy with her boyfriend, the girl who wanted to get married and be with him forever, rather than wanting to live with a bunch of old Farleigh mates. Even I can see I've changed. Do I like the changes? I don't know. Pooka's coming over later to drop off Christmas presents. Do I want to see him? Does he want to see me? Is it a good idea to answer the door, or should my mum do that? More things I don't know.

I don't know much, do I?

- k.s. x

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