"Tom looks old, Tom looks 26." - Ben
"Robin's got the hairdo of a lifetime!" - Ben
"Robin's got a big package." - Ben
"I can't sit in the middle, I ate breakfast and I'd throw up." - Robin at 8pm
"I'm fat, I need to lose weight." - Robin at BMI 18.5
"I want to see Peter Stevens naked." - Chris
"I think boys are disgusting showing off their penises!" - Lindsey
"Hattie is sexy." - Alex
"Shaun needs to go to the ladies'." - Kelly
"I'll just put my hands down Charlie's trousers, I'm sure he won't mind." - Margaret
"Peter Wiggins should wiggle the worm and slop the bean." - Ben
"Becke, you can have sex with Sam, just find the nearest golf course." - Alex
"I want to come with Becke because .... OH FUCK I'VE DONE IT AGAIN!" - Shaun
"Sam is someone who was once described as a little shit." - Shaun giving a speech at the leaving party
"Alex is a gay shemale!" - Tom Grant
"I'm not technically classed as male." - Mike Bartlett (night staff)
"I've never had sex in a bed. I like public toilets. So does Meghan." - Alex
"I'm getting paid £20 an hour to make sure Meghan doesn't go mad." - Alex
"Lindsey, Alex wants your virginity. You probably don't know what that means, but stay away from him." - Sam
"I haven't had sex in ages! Mike, come here." - Robin
"I love my rubber gloves!" - Gill
"Make me a cup of tea." - Becke to Chris's mum
"Becke, you're turning into Chris." - Jan
"Marcelle, I can't tell you who it is. Shaun, Pete doesn't mind you knowing it's him." - Becke
"It's not a tramp, it's Becke!" - Charlie
"Miss us already, mole?" - Chris to Efi (care staff with large mole)
"Leave Rob Shannon out of this!" - Becke on the phone to Pooka, said many times
"Becke, will you go out with me?" - Charlie taking the piss out of me
If you've got round to reading all that - don't you just love Farleigh? I do.
Anyway, onward with what would be an insanely long entry, but it won't be cuz I'm so damn lazy. I'll just say ....
1. Sam's left and we had a party at the Lock Inn in which I dressed like a slut.
2. That's a shame (Sam leaving, not my slut outfit) because Sam is cool.
3. I spent a while on the second floor this evening and my mouth still tastes funny.
4. I was on the phone to Pooka for ages last night and I told him lots of stuff.
5. Mike and Spike heard lots of stuff I was saying and I got grilled.
6. I farted and it transported me 12 inches off the sofa (my life is so interesting).
7. Nick likes to destroy things.
8. I will never, ever get my own room.
9. I'm still not on a course / work placement / whatever.
10. Martin has ginger Elvis hair and acts like a male prostitute.
11. Terry Gibbs got Robin Harlow pregnant (Robin himself agreed to this).
12. Gemma is most likely a victim of chronic virginity.
13. I am not wearing socks at this very moment.
14. I've run out of stuff to say due to my boring life ....
15. .... and no-one cares.
- k.s. x